Stepping Back
In each phase, each season, of parenting, we learn to take a step back from our children.
When our children are learning to walk, we are "right there", ready to catch them and set them on their way again.
But each stage of parenting requires our "stepping back".
We begin this process the first time we leave our child/children with a babysitter or a relative. We then take another step back when our children begin school, and another step back when they enter adolescence! During their teenage years, our children sometimes wish we were way back!
When our daughters were in high school, I realized that as teenagers, they were on the playing field of life, and we, as parents, were in the grandstands. We needed to let them learn and play on the field without our interference, but at the same time we needed to be in the bleachers where we could observe, support, cheer on, encourage, advise, enjoy and be there when needed. That sometimes requires a difficult step back for us as parents. We want to fix things, to make things right, to control their lives and circumstances!
I understand that some parents must take difficult steps back during very difficult times of parenting, in order not to become an enabler, or a part of the problem. These steps are, no doubt, the hardest of all backward steps, no matter what age the child.
When our children enter college years, or move out of the home, we parents take a huge step back. Thank goodness for emails, cell phones, and most importantly, prayer, during those years!
When our daughters began their careers, my husband and I took a step back again, but we were still needed for advice, emergencies, car repairs, moving furniture (up and down apartment stairs), etc!
Now, we have entered a new season of "stepping back", the season of our daughters being married, of their starting new homes of their own. It's a wonderful season, and although we have stepped back by from former responsibilities, we can truly enjoy our relationships and realize that now, we are learning from them, and enjoying them more than ever.
And the dichotomy of it is, that the better we as parents are at taking these steps back, the closer the relationship with our children will become.
An important part of this whole "stepping back" process is to realize that for each "step back" that we make as parents, our prayers for our children should grow proportionately.
So, parents, let's take a step back, pray, and enjoy!
When our children are learning to walk, we are "right there", ready to catch them and set them on their way again.
But each stage of parenting requires our "stepping back".
We begin this process the first time we leave our child/children with a babysitter or a relative. We then take another step back when our children begin school, and another step back when they enter adolescence! During their teenage years, our children sometimes wish we were way back!
When our daughters were in high school, I realized that as teenagers, they were on the playing field of life, and we, as parents, were in the grandstands. We needed to let them learn and play on the field without our interference, but at the same time we needed to be in the bleachers where we could observe, support, cheer on, encourage, advise, enjoy and be there when needed. That sometimes requires a difficult step back for us as parents. We want to fix things, to make things right, to control their lives and circumstances!
I understand that some parents must take difficult steps back during very difficult times of parenting, in order not to become an enabler, or a part of the problem. These steps are, no doubt, the hardest of all backward steps, no matter what age the child.
When our children enter college years, or move out of the home, we parents take a huge step back. Thank goodness for emails, cell phones, and most importantly, prayer, during those years!
When our daughters began their careers, my husband and I took a step back again, but we were still needed for advice, emergencies, car repairs, moving furniture (up and down apartment stairs), etc!
Now, we have entered a new season of "stepping back", the season of our daughters being married, of their starting new homes of their own. It's a wonderful season, and although we have stepped back by from former responsibilities, we can truly enjoy our relationships and realize that now, we are learning from them, and enjoying them more than ever.
And the dichotomy of it is, that the better we as parents are at taking these steps back, the closer the relationship with our children will become.
An important part of this whole "stepping back" process is to realize that for each "step back" that we make as parents, our prayers for our children should grow proportionately.
So, parents, let's take a step back, pray, and enjoy!
posted by weso at 11:03 AM
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